At the end of last week we had a conversation with our adoption agency. One which we forgot about the day before, but our agent got swamped as well and lost track of time. So we both forgot, which is good I guess.
The conversation was bitter sweet. We wanted to call to check to see what we needed to do now that our dossier (fancy word for “crap ton of paperwork) was in the Hattian Government. She assured us that there was little we could do. In a little while we will need to make sure we are up to date with the home study paperwork, get fingerprinted again (time number 5 or so) so that all of the information while the matching process happens is current and we will not hit any snags along the way. Perfect!
We could also continue to write and apply for grants for travel expenses and other bits along the way that add up after a while of this multiyear process.
This was great, but now time for the bitter part. We wanted to know about our timeframe….
Well because of the recent change in the status of Haiti to a Hague Convention nation the process is both more intensive on the paperwork side as well as streamlined and hopefully smoother and faster. But Haiti is just trying now to close out all of the pre-Hague cases it still has hanging over it from a previous era.
This means that what we thought would be a total of 2 years for the process from beginning with the start of the official application process will not be much longer. As in the typical case is taking about 2.5 years from the point we are now until our son would be at home with us. Which would make the whole process- from start to finish 4 years. (We are 1 year in.)
This was not the timeline that had been communicated to us throughout the process. We were clear in asking questions about timeline. If there is one thing a 2 pastor household knows from countless hospital visits, working through social services and court cases with people, it is that we always ask about the timeline. So when she said we would essentially be starting the 2+ year time clock over again it was like a punch in the gut.
This sucks…. It is this strange kind of grief. It is not like when we had a miscarriage and there was a physical loss, but rather it feels like a loss of something that we never had in the first place. And it is not really loss just postponement. Words don’t really do it justice, but at the same time I want to write a post about how deflated it makes us, weird right? Katie is more articulate than I am about this new timeline. The best way that I can put it into visuals is the first time you play Mario and realize that your princess is in another castle. It takes the wind out of your sail- but you know that you have to soldier on.
But here is the crazy part. We know we are not in this alone. Katie and I were talking about how there were a hand full of people every day at the week of middle school camp that we do who were wearing our “Be the Good” shirt. From capers, to staff and our volunteers every day we were reminded of the community who is in this journey with us.
It has been a blessing that we know that there are people around the world on this journey with us. We know that our shirts and message have been skydiving in California, to numerous orioles baseball games, made their way to other continents and started us some really life giving conversations. I see facebook posts with #bethegood and one of our shirts, our churches leaders wear them and when I go to film people to talk about how God is moving in their lives they are wearing them. It is amazing. We have been in the newspaper and you have opened up your businesses to us to sell the shirts and tell our story.
We know your heart breaks along side of ours with this new timeline. But it is our call and we will soldier on to the next level to bring our son home. Thank you so much for being a community that is more loving than we could have imagined and a wider reach than we would have dreamed.
While our prince might be in another castle (for now) we continue to work on bringing him home strengthen by the stores you share with us about how one little shirt is making a difference.